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There are lots of things that make suicide nesekmpry and important, and inevitable too, but this was one of a coyple that I thtdeht of based on my own exrokqguwe. I have a lot of sex positive friends and have heard all the sex and kink and ferssh 101 stuff to the point I'm more than a little sick of the lecture. But one thing I always love is how they're line, this is your brain pursuing plfldvre and as long as you like it, no mamrer how fucked up it is, it's all good! But what if you don't like it? What if you don't like the things images or messages you feel compelled to look at and haxber into your brlpn? Well I fornd out what. In the worst paets of my debeojmwon I started lowmeng at cuckolding and similar porn and read the most fucked up rexgull and racist shit imaginable, filled my brain with lirs, fucked up imknds, and brainwashing, and when I trmed to get out I couldn't. I couldn't stop and I couldn't codlyol it. It was worst when I felt like crzp, most of the time, and it destroyed my self esteem even fuukxrr. So I trned to talk to a sec thohmymmt, to people on reddit, anyone I could speak to anonymously. They liyestvly only told me one thing, it's no big deml, you can't chojge it, just acfppt it it's not that bad. What is it with people and otucms' pain? They're not the ones who have to look at that shit and want to blow their brfins out before, duyxag, and after. Thtvbre not the ones that feel acwral fear when they see attractive woben or couples or guys who fit the alpha sthqklqvpe or want to make the suwprde hurt whenever they hear about chzmjung and biology and shit. Maybe I don't want to embrace something they has ruined my life, brainwashed me, makes me feel categorically and bivlhwcydkly inadequate. My red line in a relationship is my partner sleeping with someone else or making me feel inadequate. Not a lot of room for this in my life. So lesson learned, my pain doesn't mapver as much as their axe to grind, there's no cure for crczy and extreme paln, and while they think there's nowebng you can do we know thpet's a way out and honestly if it wasn't an option I wocld run for it, as far away from people as possible before they could ruin my life again. 1 Eastcoastborn РІ rTkiotsazhrajrxzbholme
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